Women's Tips

How do I survive the dismissal


Layoffs today are not uncommon, and they do not always indicate the low professional qualities of an employee. For a variety of reasons, hundreds of successful, ambitious, experienced and productive people leave their jobs every day. In this article, we will focus on practical advice on how to adequately overcome the stress caused by job loss.

What does a fired person feel?

The spectrum of emotions of a person who was “asked” is difficult to describe in several sentences. Even if you were expecting a similar development of events, the bad news will still cause a lot of stress. Resentment, anger, aggression, stupor, hysterical fun - the first reaction will depend on the endurance, the relationship with the leader and temperament:

Choleric people can enter into conflicts and violently sort things out.

Sanguine persons, most likely, will try to solve everything peacefully.

Phlegmatic people, as a rule, do not show bright emotions (which, in other matters, does not mean that they do not experience them).

Melancholic can get very upset and even give way to tears.

1. Try to keep the first wave of emotions

Balance is one of the main qualities of a true professional, so even if you were fired unfairly, do not be scattered in righteous anger. In conflicts, it is cold mind that often wins, and “hotheads” are at risk of falling into an unfavorable light. Maintain dignity and walk with your head held high: in the future you will be pleased to remember this.

2. Think of the consequences

Dismissal is the first step to your new career, and you should get the most out of it. More often than not, management really doesn’t like to lay off employees, so it tries to furnish everything in the softest possible manner. Do not get lost, ask for recommendations, compensation for unused vacation and other "regalia" that you rely on for service.

3. Do not consider yourself a loser

A positive attitude is the basis of a happy life. This banal truth is relevant at the time of dismissal. Even if you lost in the corporate struggle and lost your favorite job, it should not destroy your self-esteem and enter into a state of depression. First, life is not only a career. Secondly, fears and complexes will only prevent you from successfully settling in a new place. And it will definitely be!

4. Do not settle for the first job

Many people after the dismissal hastily agree to the first incoming offer. But this strategy makes it difficult to realize that a person is really interesting and important in future work. The main thing is not to step on familiar rakes, therefore, soberly evaluate your past experience and carefully study the new vacancy. Are the terms really appealing? Then safely agree.

6. Do not call former employees to a new place.

Even if you successfully settled in a new place - do not rush to drag former colleagues. You are still a novice and did not have time to understand all the corporate rules. Should I take responsibility for the employment of others? Remember that professional failure comrades can destroy not only your friendly relations, but also the reputation of a new job.

Perfilyeva Inna Yuryevna

Psychologist, Psychodramatist. Specialist from the website b17.ru

The author was such a thing to me, did not fit into the team. He called me and said sorry and did not agree with the characters. It was not very pleasant, but I didn’t really like it there. I forgot in a couple of days. Do not worry, everything will pass.

This is not the worst thing in life.

I myself left two, and the rest were ours) who would fire me then

From one grew up, and on the other, the duties of a translator and a knitwear technologist were dropped to me, and they were asked to complete it, like wait until we find a new technologist, and I got into a fuss.

Do not worry, the author, everyone absolutely likes it is impossible. You may be cute, sociable, but this boss didn’t like it either. Yes, garbage, do not cycle, it's bad, and you're good

contact the labor inspectorate. still you have nothing to lose

Related topics

Author, you are not 100 bucks that everyone would like) Quickly find a new place to work better and restore self-esteem.

strange. I was so caught once when I worked unofficially, but so that officially. they don't have the right at all. and so, in fact, I had exactly the same situation, I did not like it personally, I did not even explain the reasons. it was very disappointing, even when I remember now, unpleasant. wrote a bunch of negative reviews about them on the Internet, they even later changed the name of the company)))

I agree with the comment about the labor inspection, but only if you are very angry, because nerves will shake even more)
But in general, I, too, were recently turned around, did a good job, combined functionaries of 2 - ***** specialists with her face, and the starred former colleague who became the head (only because I am 22, and she is over 40, like more aahahha experience, in fact, she worked all her life xs whom and the highest position administrator in dentistry), in general, this witch wanted me to fill up even more work, I got into a pose, she was complained to the whole management in one day, next day forgive goodbye) I was glad they got me! Do not worry, the author, all the better. I now go to interviews, I listen to rejections, I’m already starting to get upset, but then I think that I won’t break me with this nonsense) I don’t like me - well, go, I don’t like you either))) try to look from another angle, everything it will be equally forgotten in a year or two, so what are the nerves to spend now? nerve cells are not restored!)))

The author, this is unpleasant, but no more. Maybe someone from "their" took your place. One time, I was also devoured by one village in a new place, but a week later I got a job at a much better place, where I have been working for several years, so I can only thank her for saying.

"I abruptly remained unemployed." This is written by a person who was on probation. strange as that.
About "Omeriku" mocked course. can and said to reduce the staff, and not specifically "Masha Ivanova reduce."
author, this is work. Nobody should be there with you, and you have a painful perception of what is happening. no money from the company - optimize costs - reduce staff. and great workers are laid off, not just trainees. It was strange to put "at stake" while on probation — the impression of your emotions was exactly that.

"I abruptly remained unemployed." This is written by a person who was on probation. strange as that.
About "Omeriku" mocked course. can and said to reduce the staff, and not specifically "Masha Ivanova reduce."
author, this is work. Nobody should be there with you, and you have a painful perception of what is happening. no money from the company - optimize costs - reduce staff. and great workers are laid off, not just trainees. It was strange to put "at stake" while on probation — the impression of your emotions was exactly that.

"I abruptly remained unemployed." This is written by a person who was on probation. strange as that.
About "Omeriku" mocked course. can and said to reduce the staff, and not specifically "Masha Ivanova reduce."
author, this is work. Nobody should be there with you, and you have a painful perception of what is happening. no money from the company - optimize costs - reduce staff. and great workers are laid off, not just trainees. It was strange to put "at stake" while on probation — the impression of your emotions was exactly that.

The author, this is not a difficult life situation, but just a human factor, the more there was a trial period. Do not shake your nerves.

Unpleasant maiden author.

Unpleasant maiden author.

I read your situation. I was in a similar case when, in a flash, they were thrown out and I was left without work, and even carrying a child. Then, usually for the injustice of these people boomerang returns, and then whatever is done, all the better. Perhaps it was one of the life stages, and this is also an experience. Do not pay attention to the evil comments. You might think that all such nice people sit here and are beautiful and they never touched such situations. And if they did not touch, then everything is ahead. No one is insured. And by the way 18. Guest, why such a negative to the girl and how she is so unpleasant for you? Through the letter, I see that the girl calmly and consistently tells everything, is looking for support, and you just need to merge your bad mood on her or week **. Disgusting of you.

FOR THE AUTHOR FROM LILI'S BOX (response to your reply to my comment)
Yes, not at all!) I just went through myself, I understand) you know how it is, some feel strong and capable, hardworking, if you get a good and understanding boss, it will be super. I had a dream boss, and then he was drained, and then everything fell into the hell out of it, a verbiage was put in its place, and he, in turn, put the main witch over me. And now you know what happened to them? The company is in a deep crisis, the working hours have been reduced, the gray part (and it is more white) is not paid for several months, many employees spat out and left, or the competitors lured away, just the office from the business center moved to the basement of production))) nafig with them to go to the bottom? Thank you for firing)))
You and I have everything ahead, do not despair) I’m 22 and my employers have annoyed me so many times, so many interviews have been passed and time has been spent on mine-searching, I once looked for work for half a year, I almost lost my mind, but now I treat it easier) just be disheartened and search-search-search, everyone who believes in it finds his place (in the career plan), I think.
You also know what you can navigate, for example, actors (not ours!) Are foreign. Actress Bree Larson (26 years old) won an Oscar this year, before winning a role she was shot from 13 years old on all good roles in films that are not bad, then it was impossible to unleash talent in them. But she continued to work until she got exactly her role, and with this role she collected all the awards and received recognition and invitations to new leading roles.
I do not call for anything, but see, anything happens, and this actress has repeatedly said in interviews that she was constantly denied, they said that she was not beautiful / good / talented / slender, but that did not stop her.
A good guide, right?))) She did it, and we can))

Psychotherapist consultation

Consultation with a psychotherapist - this is the right solution to this difficult question. After all, job loss is always experienced by people as a personal defeat. The main thoughts are fear and mortal offense against all of humanity. Another factor that adds fuel to the fire is when friends and relatives find out about the dismissal. Now shame is added to the above feelings.

Psychological services

Psychologist services will help you quickly pull yourself together and not be killed at the time of dismissal. So what are we still afraid of? Firstly, we are afraid of losing the usual circle of communication and communication. Many will say that this is not the case, but deep down they still recognize this factor. This should not be ashamed, because this fear is genetically inherent in us.

The feeling of complete hopelessness is aggravated by the fact that a person who is fixated on the problem of his dismissal, almost does not notice other aspects of his life. When deeply immersed in emotions, a person begins to lose control over himself, then emotions take over his mind. At such moments of life, a person is able to commit a lot of rash acts.

Emotional Perception Groups

People who are on the "list of dismissed" can be divided into three groups of emotional perception of this news.

The first and most harmless - the victims. Such people, having learned about their dismissal, constantly cry and look for protection from the people around them. Such people give the impression of weak and worthless personalities who themselves have already recognized themselves as good for nothing. It should be careful with this type of people. Their prolonged experiences with time will be even stronger. Do not let such people die out and do not leave them alone. Take them to a psychotherapist's appointment, which will help them quickly regain themselves and enter a normal rut.

The second type of people caught in the situation of dismissal - aggressors. These guys are never silent and begin to noisily find out the reasons for such a decision, who made it, while expressing all their thoughts about the management and the company as a whole. Such people can cheat on their superiors, crush their own office, and even use their fists. This type of people is very difficult to get along in a team and inadequately perceives criticism. When applying for a new job, it is better for such people to keep their emotions to themselves.

The third type of people is doomed. After his dismissal, it begins to seem to him that the world has collapsed. What a dismissal from work is the end of life and the collapse of all dreams and hopes. This type of people is not inclined to discuss this issue even with relatives, he can pretend that he continues to go to work and will not devote anyone to his thoughts. Such people are often prone to suicide, so it is best to seek the help of a psychotherapist.

You should not suppress boiling emotions in yourself - give them a move and only then go deep into the analysis of the problem that has arisen. Try not to do something stupid and think about the problem. Can you really blame for the dismissal only? You should not look for the guilty, but do an internal “work on the mistakes”, look at yourself from the outside and draw the right conclusions. And then, when applying for a new job, you will already have a trump card up your sleeve.
Photo: insin

How to survive the dismissal depression

March 16, 2010 at 21:44

For the past six months, she acted as the chief accountant, who was dismissed by order of the director. In addition, another accountant had quit before. In general, it turned out that she worked for almost three people, she gave some of the work to other accountants. In almost every weekend and evenings. For free! before drawing up the last documents of the annual report, the persecution started in which I was told that I didn’t do anything here, that I’m a bad leader. Before that, it was the same thing for half a year. I was silent and suffered. Now the pain I can’t, insults are such that I don’t think up. I wrote a statement about my dismissal. I don’t know what to do next, how to survive this “shame”. There is no work in the city. Depression is such that I don’t want to live. Hurt and pain corrode the soul. Help, please. What to do and how to live? The whole world collapsed. I’m 46 years old and I’m used to being just a Cinderella where I can plow, but it’s not mine to lead. I explained and told them this, they didn’t understand, and they accused me of inability. I feel soiled in the dirt from which not to wash, because no one understands why they humiliate me so, yes I myself do not understand. I do not want to live.

March 16, 2010, 23:37

Do not worry, everything will work out. I recently recruited an accountant - a 55-year-old woman and very pleased with her work. Not everyone needs young girls, women after 40 have their own advantages. You will definitely find a normal job. Do not despair, search, do not give up. You will succeed.

March 17, 2010, 00:32

Why did you tolerate insults and were silent? Weird people. They perceive it as a consent, it is no wonder that you were fired. Themselves called themselves Cinderella, so what do you want from them?

March 17, 2010, 00:41

Of course, you excuse me, but if you worked for three, then you are really a good leader. because of your inability to distribute responsibilities, I am sure that you are not the only one who suffered. I had such a boss - nova at work. I quit and dashed off a complaint on her dismissal.

Reasons for leaving the job

We list those professionals who may be at risk:

  • Workers who have achieved their achievements, who do not improve their skills, do not improve their skills.
  • The results of the employee’s activity were not noticed by anyone.
  • People who think they don't depend on anyone.
  • Employees who surround themselves with henchmen and ignore constructive criticism.
  • People who do not get along well with colleagues.
  • Those who refuse to mention their career achievements.

Consequences of the dismissal

What can you expect if you are fired from your job? The first thing you will experience is shock and stress. The familiar world around a person collapses, acquaintances remain in the past, self-esteem drops sharply. Often a large number of layoffs occur in crisis situations, at a time when the bosses seek to keep only the most valuable and promising workers. And this leads to the fact that a person who has fallen into such a situation starts to think that he is the worst, is unable to achieve anything in life, etc.

To get stuck on this is impossible, you need to escape from gloomy thoughts. Think that everything is relative, because someone is better in one, someone is in another. Do not forget that this failure can be the beginning of something new.

And now let's take a closer look at two excellent ways to cope with depression and start searching for a new job.

First way

How to survive the stress of dismissal? Психологами давно доказано, что эмоциональное состояние уволенного человека сравнимо с теми чувствами, которые люди переживают после измены или развода. Поэтому последствия, особенно для тех, у кого слабая психика, могут быть самыми тяжелыми, начиная с депрессий и бессонниц, заканчивая нервными срывами.To survive the dismissal and maintain health, you need to follow the tips that we present below.

Where to begin? Step one

How to survive the dismissal from work? First you need to go through the main stages of stress, of which there are four:

  • Phase of denial. A state of shock when it is very difficult to understand what is happening around.
  • Phase of anger. The first emotion is aggression. A person is constantly in a state of irritation, angry at loved ones and relatives, himself, fate, life.
  • Phase bargaining. Trying to get back to work by doing something meaningful. For example, bring a new customer or prepare a report.
  • The phase of depression. The person realizes that all attempts to return are in vain.

Step Two

We continue to describe the algorithm of how to survive the dismissal from work. So, we stopped at the stage of depression. You can not drive your negative emotions inward, you have to learn to throw them out. To do this, select the appropriate method. A good gym for this purpose. Practice with a punching bag, representing in its place a boss or an ill-wisher, arrange a marathon race, splashing out aggression in motion.

In no case do not protect from loved ones. Tell about your friends. After you talk, it will be much easier. Gradually, the circumstances of the dismissal will begin to be remembered less and less clearly, and emotions will be dulled.

Step Three

Remember, if you were fired from your job, this is not the end of the world, because life goes on. However, negative stages of stress can be delayed for several weeks. Do not let them stay with you for long. You can use a special psychological technique, which is called the "Alarm Clock". Mentally, you need to “wind up” the internal clock for some day. When the alarm goes off, begin to act actively.

If you managed to survive the phase of negative emotions, then get ready for the stage of acceptance. During this period, you will be able to analyze your behavior and understand what caused the dismissal. This will make it possible to comprehend what is happening and will help to start acting further

It is necessary to make a list of those positive moments that dismissal brought into your life. For example, you got rid of the quibbles of the chief or sub-marks of your colleagues.

Step Four

You were fired from work. What to do? Abstract from emotions and analyze the recorded reasons for dismissal by points. Do not take seriously aspects such as crisis, downsizing, harmful boss, etc. Be honest with yourself, and you may realize that you have long been unknowingly wanted to quit this job.

Then think about which profession is closer to you and what you would really like to do. On a piece of paper, write down the knowledge and skills that are required for the chosen job. Tick ​​off the skills that you do not own, and begin to fill in the gaps in education.

There are many ways to survive a dismissal. Psychologist's advice convince one thing - as soon as the stress has passed and it became clear what I want next, I need to start looking for a new job. And here we can not restrict one way. It is necessary to use everything possible - ads, websites, acquaintances, the employment service, etc.

Try during your search to maintain the daily routine that was before the dismissal - be awake, have breakfast and dinner, do things at the same time. This will help keep yourself in good shape and not relax. Treat your search for a new duty station as an exam.

The second way: do not forget about the formalities

Consider another option how to survive the dismissal from work. The occurrence of depression is possible in any case. However, you can slightly shift your attention to the formal side of things.

After the first emotional shock, thoughts will begin to appear that dismissal will spoil your work record and put an end to your career. You need to immediately drive away these ideas. Do not try on the role of the petitioner and do not tremble in front of the director. You still have nothing more to lose, so try to figure it out. Be sure to find out the reason for the dismissal. Do not forget about your rights and labor laws. You can not be put outside the threshold without a livelihood. Do not let the employer make money on it.

Be sure to control your emotions. Do not let self-pity take over, try to keep calm. During conversations with the management do not threaten and do not go to the individual. Discussion should be strictly business language. Study in advance the TC (dismissal and everything connected with it, in particular) and select the paragraphs of the law to which you will refer. Behave yourself. Poor relationships with a former employer can make it harder to find a new place, as bosses can refuse to give recommendations.

Do not treat dismissal as a failure of your whole life. Try to take it as an opportunity to start all over again. In addition, in the old place you have acquired certain skills and experience that will be useful in later life.

Dismissal of a pensioner

How to survive the dismissal of a pensioner? After all, people of this age are more vulnerable in this situation. Often, retirees give the company a lot of strength and stick to it with all their hearts. For them, work has long become an integral and very important part of life. Therefore, it is much more difficult to cope with depression.

Did you get fired after your retirement? What to do? Usually, pensioners have many friends in the service. Do not forget about them and fenced off. Supporting loved ones can help. Remember that a pension is a great opportunity to live in your own pleasure. You have a lot of time that you can spend on yourself and your hobbies - walk more often, find a hobby.

Psychological advice for retirees and people of pre-retirement age

The worst thing is to lose the place to those who have very little left until retirement. The reasons for dismissal from work may be different, but you need to ensure that they are legal.

By this time, a person accumulates vast experience, brings his skills to perfection and is well versed in his field, but employers prefer to hire young ones. Especially hard in this situation for women.

At an older age, they no longer think about the field in which they want to work, since everything has long been decided to change something late. You need to analyze your skills and knowledge, and then determine the industry where they can be most in demand. Find a suitable job with the help of neighbors, friends and even former colleagues. The latter are especially valuable in this regard, as they continue to rotate in the right professional circles.

Pay attention to your appearance. At the interview you should keep friendly and confident in yourself. In this case, you need to be prepared for failure. Hearing "no" can be many times, so do not despair and fall into a blues. Try not to lose the fighting spirit and not forget about the power of persuasion.

Today, the main requirement for a potential employee is the ability to work on a computer. So you have to learn this skill if you are applying for a good position.

TK: dismissal. The legislative framework

Any dismissal must be based on Article 80 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Be sure to read this law and read all the amendments that have been made to it.

If the case is complex, then it is useful to contact a lawyer. You have to make sure that everything happens according to the law and the boss is not trying to deceive you without paying compensation. In a stressful situation, people rarely think about the legal side of things, as they are in a phase of denial or anger. And when emotions are dulled, it’s too late to demand something. If you yourself can not figure out the legislative subtleties, contact your family for help.

How to survive without dismissal?

We will not convince that it is simple. We will not argue that dismissal from work is a mere nonsense that can be survived absolutely painlessly. Such an event really knocks out the usual rut, dozens of questions flash instantly in my head: “Why me?”, “What did I do wrong?”.

Self-esteem falls, the mood at zero, and faith in a bright future for some reason instantly evaporates and turns into unrealistic hopes. Psychologists say that the dismissal from work is really a lot of stress that needs to be experienced correctly in order to avoid unpleasant and sometimes dangerous consequences.

5 important stages

How to survive the dismissal? This question is gnawing at everyone who has fallen into this situation, and it doesn't matter at all whether you knew about it in advance or the news hit you like a lot of snow. To come to a successful finale, a person has to go through 5 stages, each of which, in its own way, is important and necessary.

At the first stage, a person only partially realizes the seriousness of the situation, being in a state of shock, awareness comes only at the second stage. Here they catch up with anger, resentment and misunderstanding. At the head of a thousand questions, self-esteem slowly but surely tends to zero, and, as a result, a natural feeling of aggression and anger towards the former bosses may arise.

At the second stage, there may be a burning desire to “recoup in the end”: to express to the authorities everything that you think about him, to annoy the companies, for example, to hide any necessary data or to delete customer numbers. Naturally, with time everything will be restored, but an extremely negative opinion will be formed about you.

Do not do anything like that! Gather a will into a fist and remember that the professional circle in one city is always rather narrow, which means that all your “achievements” can be recognized by your future superiors, which may affect your future career growth.

Do you need it? If you leave, with your head held high, with best wishes and a friendly smile, who knows, sometimes the authorities have a habit of changing their decisions, or, at least, you can get some good advice.

The next stage is bidding. Here there are similar thoughts: “If I had just completed the annual report ...”, “If I were friendlier with the team ...” and so on. “If, yes, and if ...” no longer makes any special sense, step over this stage, leave everything in the past, but take with you conclusions regarding your professional activity, perhaps in a new workplace, they will be useful to you.

The fourth stage is depression. Explain and describe it makes no sense, almost every one of us fell into a similar state. The last number is acceptance. Finally, having realized and experienced all the sorrows, you are ready to move on, at this stage, a person can even see a certain logic in his dismissal and sees the advantages of what happened.

In words, everything seems to be simple, but how to experience it in reality? To begin with: give yourself the full right to experience all these five stages, it is better to go through them right away than to get lost in your own negative emotions and push the problem away, leaving it without solution. Unfortunately, there are quite a few cases when, after being dismissed, a person is completely lost and does not find the strength for new achievements.

Most often, people who are at critical stages of life fall into this risk group, usually the age of 34-36 years, and then 49-52, 55-57 years. Sooner or later, you will come to the adoption stage, however, it is important to try to shorten the entire path to it: for this, give yourself an installation about the end of each stage. For example, for three days for each state: maybe at first it will seem strange to you, but as a result, logic will prevail over feelings.

What you need to know?

So it happened. First you need to deal with the important points of registration that can play for or against you in the future.

  • Dismissal at will. Most often, this is the way it is formed, even if this desire was not entirely personal. If, for example, a person is fired for not doing his own work and the employer can prove it, then this option would be the best solution. But if a person is dismissed simply to reduce staff, then in this situation you can not wait for the compensation. About redundancy on reduction should warn in advance, terms stipulate, and the warning is attached in writing. But an employee who is forced to sign backdated documents is better to consult with lawyers and sign anything in advance.
  • By agreement of the parties. The most profitable option for the employee: it clearly states the date of dismissal, while making all the necessary payments (full payment, compensation for leave that was not used, the remaining salary). Registration at the labor exchange is easier, and the calculation of benefits is carried out as soon as possible.

    What to do next?

    After picking up the written recommendations and, preferably, a positive recommendation from the former place of work, you must go to the labor office, where you will be registered, who knows, you may immediately be offered a new vacancy.

    Perhaps, there on the exchange, it will be possible to take advanced training courses, which will increase your chances of finding a new job. It will not be superfluous to make a high-quality resume, send it to employment sites, as well as pass interviews in a couple of cadastral devices.

    In terms of psychology

    Often, after a heavy dismissal, a person wants to relax: lie down on the couch, eat plenty of sweets and delicacies, sleep until dinner, and so on. Of course, it is possible to allow such a rest, but, more importantly, that it does not stretch to infinity.

    Do not forget that the resulting calculation will end soon, but you will not receive a new salary, and how can you hang on the neck of your own family? In particular, this applies to men.

    In order to completely "not unstuck", be sure to follow the daily routine: get up at the right time, have breakfast and clean up, actively look for work and, since there is free time, do what you always lacked.

    For example, learn something new, tidy up in the garage, tidy up household chores that have never been reached before. Use your free time to tidy up your health: observe the regime, do not watch the TV late at night, go out to the street every day and, if possible, do jogging.

    Do not forget that the weekend, as before, is Saturday and Sunday, the rest of the time you should be busy, as it was before when you worked. Daily look at job sites, send out as many CVs as possible, go to interviews and remember that the more companies you call today, the more answers you will receive tomorrow.

    And one more thing: learn to perceive dismissal not as a cruel joke of fate, but as a sign that it’s time for you to move on, who knows, perhaps this is a kind of sign, a chance to find a place with the best income or team.

    How to survive the dismissal and find a new job. Psychologist tips

    Dismissal, bankruptcy, long and unsuccessful search for work. No one is immune from such strength tests. On how to adequately deal with them, AIF told a psychologist Julia Kuzmina.

    Having lost their job or their own business, many of us give up. Psychologist Julia Kuzmina I am sure that such stressful situations are not a reason for sadness, but in order to start a new life and find a favorite business. How to do this, she told AiF.ru.

    Long job search

    The first thing to do is to bring yourself into a “resource” state. Write out on one sheet what is disturbing - in one column, and in the other - the antipode to this experience. If it is impossible to cope with this on your own, then you need to find people who are in a “resource” state so that they can offer you the wording. For example: “They don't hire me”. What phrase can be "anti"? "I will change the strategy - the result will change." But, of course, we must not only repeat this phrase like a mantra, but really change the strategy of finding a job.

    The second phrase: "I run out of money." Antipode - "I need to mobilize and connect more people, then I will have more opportunities to get a job." Need to start with this.

    If you are rarely invited to an interview, then it is likely that the matter is in a poorly written resume. Find a person who will help you to compose it correctly, now it can be done without leaving your home, on the Internet.

    From a professional point of view, of course, the employer takes in appearance. You need to understand how to dress in the structure in which you want to go, and come in appropriate clothing. You need to be prepared not only to answer questions, but also to ask them, because the person asking the questions looks more competent. Such people are always more interesting for the employer.

    Be prepared that the employer will ask you about goals and dreams. They should be ambitious, but realistic. You do not need to talk with any theater aplomb, it is better to say convincingly that you are going towards a certain goal, and this company is right for you.


    В конце 90-х, когда произошёл финансовый крах, многие столкнулись с ситуацией потери бизнеса, тогда многие мужчины уходили «в подполье». Как бы странно это ни звучало, но сильная половина человечества тяжелее переносит такие ситуации. У женщин психика более гибкая. У мужчины сознание попадает в тупик за счёт рациональности. Это ощущение бетонной плитой ложится на их самооценку, на их рациональный мозг, заставляет деморализовываться. Мужчина начинает считать, что он не справился с проблемой. And if the wife also says that he has failed, then he is likely to become even more immersed in this situation. In this case, there is no one right way to solve it; therefore, it is better to consult with a psychologist and choose a way to deal with your depressed state depending on your psycho type.

    I will share a story from my practice. In a family where her husband suddenly became bankrupt and slept, the wife did not give up and began to look for a solution. And we have developed a strategy for the psyche of her spouse. In order to activate her husband, she created the appearance that she quit her job, so that he understood that all hope was for him. When they sat down for breakfast, the children asked why we only had tea and bread and butter. She told them that soon dad would go to work, and everything would work out. At the same time she talked to her husband calmly, saying that he needed to get up, act. After some time, he began to make some calls to his old acquaintances, although it was difficult for him to go "bowing", it broke his vanity. But in the end, the family got out of this situation. The main thing to remember, depression - like a swamp, it sucks. The sooner you take up the problem, the sooner you solve it.

    If you are not recruited due to age

    Of course, the employer will never tell you that you are not suitable for him because of his age. But people of the category of 30-35 years old are flexible, ambitious, make a great contribution to the company, so they are the most popular in the market. People after 40 years - with principles, formed. If the manager sees that the candidate has come static, he is worried that such an employee will be intractable, conflicted. It is easier for him to form a young specialist under the mentality of his company.

    What can be advised in this case? Bring more joy into your everyday life, change your lifestyle. If we are talking about a woman, then you should do dancing, painting. When a person does the same thing all his life, he becomes very monotonous. When we do what we have not done before, we break ourselves, become elastic. In our youth, we say “let's try!”, And with age a person does not want to experiment. In the field of hobbies to decide on experiments easier. It helps to engage creative perception. It requires plastic consciousness.

    Perhaps you will suit a more radical option. It may be necessary to continue its evolution, but not in the way it was before. Think about what you are good in, together with some other experts you can create an individual entrepreneur, provide paid services. In such cases, an experiment is often needed. Maybe this will be the start of a business.


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